Naraku's Ultimate Revenge!
by kandisi
Summary: Shippou/Naraku. I know, wtf, but this was a CHALLENGE FIC. Anyhoo, Naraku wants Sesshoumaru back, and Shippou's got the perfect means for Naraku getting what he wants...


**A/N:** Alright, this was a REQUEST fic, so don't kill me for having writing this... I know I have defiled Naraku, but he's my favourite Inuyasha character so I wasn't trying to bash him, nor anyone else in the cast.

The request was for Shippou/Naraku with Shippou as the dom, and the line of dialogue to use was "Looks like the fritters are done!". The request was from the wonderful Shan-chan on liverjournal.

Well, read on... review if you don't wanna flame me. *runs away*

**Naraku's Ultimate Revenge!**

---------------------

Naraku scowled to himself while sauntering throughout the forest. Sesshoumaru...

That... bastard...

How dare Sesshoumaru play him off in such a manner?

"I.. am going.. to kill him.." Naraku growled in the midst of trampling steps. Then again... killing the demon lord would only serve to satisfy his anger, when other things needed to be satisfied as well...

Sure, Sess was the most popular piece of ass in their time period... or was it Inuyasha? Or Miroku? Kouga, perhaps? Or was it maybe Jakotsu or Bankotsu? Aww fuck it. They were probably all having one big orgy at this very moment. And without Naraku! How DARE they defy him in this way? He would make them pay, alright... Even if it meant raping three fourths of the cast.

Inu-Miro-, no, Sesshoumaru would be his, damnit!

Naraku suddenly heard ruffling among a nearby group of bushes, already prepared to launch a massive stringed attack of purple tentacles.

"Show yourself, or die."

At this point in time, what appeared to be a little fox jumped out of the bushes, fists clenched as he dropped several apples. "Alright, Naraku, put um' up!"

"........."

_He's gotta be kidding? But wait, maybe he can tell me where Kou, no... Inu... no wait, wait... Mirok... damnit... Sess-Sesshoumaru is, yeah!_

"Alright, I've seen you with Inuyasha's insignificant bandwagon of morons."

"Inuyasha doesn't have a bandwagon."

"You're right... Or wait, does... I mean, it was an expression, damnit!" Naraku growled in rage. "I'm looking for Jak... no, Miro... fuck, Sesshoumaru!!! Where IS he?!"

Shippou contemplated for a moment. "Think he went off with Inuyasha, Miroku, Kouga, Jakotsu, and Bankotsu."

_Orgy... I knew it. I fucking knew it. Sesshoumaru will pay!!! Wait... it was Sesshoumaru, right? Hmm... yeah, yeah it was!!!_

"You look like a woman," Shippou suddenly stated.

"I hate you, I hate all of you, I hate the world!"

Shippou grinned menacingly. "Did mister Sessy screw you over Naraku?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"I know how you can get him back," the small fox sniggered.

"How?" inquired Naraku, sounding halfway interested.

"An affair. You cheat on Sesshoumaru, and he'll get jealous and come back to you."

"Right!" Naraku stated in anger. "Glad I thought of it. Wait... who am I going to fuck right now?"

Shippou sighed. "Silly Naraku. You have to be the uke. Then Sessy will get jealous. If you're seme, he'll only get more angry."

"Hmm... okay, I guess..." Then the half-demon was struck instantly with another realization. "Who am I going to get to fuck me right now, though? All the guys are probably in a big, friggin pile as I stand here?!"

Meanwhile...

"How's the barbeque going, Inuyasha?" asked Miroku.

"This thing is stupid," Inuyasha sighed. "We need more apples. Where's Shippou?"

"I guess he's still a little ways back," Kouga stated. "Bankotsu, go get him."

"No!" Jakotsu retorted as he harassed Bankotsu spontaneously.

"I'll go..." Sesshoumaru sighed, getting bored as hell. "I fucking hate being OOC..."

After walking for approximately five minutes, the demon suddenly heard a strange noise...

"What the...?" he whispered in question. A few more steps, and he came upon a large collection of bushes. Peeking his head through them, he saw...

"........."

"Oh god it hurts! It hurts SO bad, why why why?!!"

"That's it, take it bitch," Shippou growled while thrusting into the apparently crying Naraku.

Sesshoumaru was...

"........."

Inuyasha sighed as he spotted his half-brother. "Looks like the fritters are done!"

He then watched as Sesshoumaru fainted.

Inuyasha growled and shook his spatula. "That doesn't cut it. You're STILL going to eat them!!!"


End file.
